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The Finger and the Damage Done
Rusties React

First, check out the press release from the Neil Young camp...

More info is here on HyperRust in the Evening Coconut news column within the SAMPLE and HOLD workbook.

Rustie Matthias Chemical Computer Butterweck was the first to point out that during Neil's final Stealth Gig (at the Calalyst) before the finger injury, he'd sung TWO songs with lyrics about finger damage, each of which went to the bone!

  from Truth Be Known...
      When the fire that once was your friend
      Burns your fingers to the bone
      And your song meets a sudden end
      Echoing through right and wrong

  from Hard Luck Stories...
      Now she's gone and you're alone
      Bite your fingers to the bone
      Slip away, 
      You feel it slip away, slip away

Rustie Serge MoMo Gironnay provided a visual response.

Of course, adversity stimulates the Rustie creative juices. Here's a sampling of the song adaptations that kept us in, uh, stitches...

by David Big Red Beacon Robertson

  Look out, mama, there's a sandwich sittin' on the table,
  With home-made whole wheat, and some ham and mustard and cheese,
  So darn big that I don't think that I'm gonna be able, with ease,
  To pick it up in one piece
  And eat it as I please.
  It's got a pickle on the side, and tomato and romaine leaves.

  When I was a boy my mother taught me good manners.
  Now I won't eat a sandwich till it's neatly divided in two.
  I might be smart, but I'm not always the best of planners. 
  So I needed to find a blade
  To cut the treat I'd made
  And the more I looked the more my hunger grew.

  Pegi's breadknife in my hand felt reassurin'.
  She'd said "Watch that steel, Neil. Be careful what you are doin'."
  But all I heard was the sound of my stomach growlin'.
  Raised the knife above the plate.
  But my aim was not so great..
  Then I saw red and I knew I'd need first-aid.

  Shelter me from the slicer and the finger.
  Cover me with the hands that made the dinner.
  Just think of me as one you'd never figure
  The doctors would not let
  Put my finger to the fret.
  You can tell my friends in Europe I'm sure gonna miss 'em.
    I speak as one who has seen the white bone of my own right index finger, so I do sympathize with Neil's condition. --BRB

The Digit and the Damage Done
by Marsha Whitney Doyle, RN

  I caught you choppin' on my celery board
  I love you, finger, but you bought the sword
  Oh, oh, the digit's done...

  I hit my finger had to leave my band
  Almost sawed that mother off my hand
  Gone, gone, the digit's done...

  I sing the song, because I love my thumbs
  Get a lawyer, sue the Ginsu bums
  Milk'em good, 'cause my blood's runnin' out...

  I sing the song, because a crummy ham
  For a sandwich, I could'a used some Spam!
  Uh, oh, that's in a sharp can...

  I sing this song, because I love the cheese
  Make mine on macaroni in the future, please
  Gone, gone, the digit's done...

  I've seen the digit and the damage done
  A little part of it fell on the bun
  But not every sandwich is like a loaded gun...
    First let me say, I am sorry about Neil's mishap, and wish him speedy healing, but we at W3.wierd.doc-n-nurse couldn't control ourselves, being mindful of slicing and dicing as we are.... I said, BE HEALED, Neil! --MWD

Down by the Kitchen
by Ronny Hank Hendrix Watt

  Be on my plate, I'll be on your plate, baby
  There is no reason for you to fight
  It's so hard for me cutting here all alone
  When all I want is to take a bite
  Yeah, it could drag me out of the bedroom, I'm hungry today
  Down by the kitchen I cut my finger
  Down by the kitchen,
  Bad, ooh, cut it bad
  You take my hand, I'll take your ham
  Together we may lunch-away
  This sandwich can't wait til tomorrow
  I think I gotta eat it up today
  Yeah, it could drag me out of my bedroom, feed me a day
  Down by the kitchen I cut my finger
  Down by the kitchen,
  Bad, ooh, cut it bad

Shakey the Griller
by Andrew Wood (contributions from David Lybrand)

  He came strolling across the kitchen
  With a rumbling in his tum
  Looking for a quick snack
  To feed his hunger on

  On the side lay bread and mustard
  There was ham fresh from the grill
  On that stove he'd caref'ly warmed it
  And was ready for his fill

  With ingredients scattered round him
  Fresh loaves from the bakery
  The sandwich began to take shape
  For the hungry Neil to see

  Finished sandwich it was enormous
  Much too big to take a bite
  He knew he'd have to cut it
  So that he could eat it right

  Pain was just a legend
  And blood was never known
  This time things were different
  Sliced his finger to the bone

  The blood it dripped from the finger
  And his left hand turned to red
  But it's still not really possible
  To repeat the things he said

     But we know he's coming here
     Back to Europe, back one day
     Once that finger has recovered
     And healed enough to play

  He came strolling across the kitchen
  Shakey, Shakey 
  What a griller

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